"The Dawn is breaking.
And I know,
‘My star’ shall fade away soon."
I stood there, erect like a building, with my hands on the cold black iron railings of my previous corridor of my hostel. I stood there with a question. I stood there with a fear. But I stood straight this time. Straight and strong. Unlike the innumerable sleepless nights in dereliction which I had spent here. I was still sleepless, still full of uneasiness, but there was something which was guiding me now, and fixing me; an invincible power, a light, a Star… ‘My star’… It was quarter to five, three hours that I had been standing there looking at that gleaming star…
"The Dawn was breaking.
And I knew,
‘My star’ shall fade away soon."
I had spent on this corridor dark and cold nights, nights that would leave me wandering in sleeplessness and indelible fears … But last night was different.
It was heavenly.
It was mine. All mine.
It was like a miracle. A dream. A beautiful Dream.
I would run, get up from my torpor at some hour of the night and find myself at this very place of the corridor in search of one moment of peace; but I would find it not. I would look at the sky and darkness would ooze out from it. And my face had a kind of fatigue, a tormented weariness, a fear of a struggle against a thought, an idea, a moment- against something that cannot be conquered, that never rests…
But last night shone on this face, A Star. A Heavenly Star.
A Star miles away from me, still bathing me in its warmth.
As though ‘it’ had been waiting to guide me all these years. And to Love Me.
I could feel the Fire blazing in its core.
The Fire to lead this world.
The Fire to light the cosmos.
It was alone. It was dejected.
But ‘it’ was so full of Life.
And Love.
It kept guiding me all through this dark night.
Unknowingly.
Or knowingly perhaps.
But Unknowingly I was being entangled up into it.
And its light pellucid and divine.
And when it would say my name, and kept saying it in my ears;
It was peace. It was solace.
And it would touch me in my soul through its limpid light beam,
crossing light years of distance amidst us in that one ephemeral moment.
I did not ask it ever,
If it had come to shine for me forever;
If it had been waiting to guide me forever;
And to love me…
Or
If it were a meager streak of light dispersed in the cosmos some light years back;
No longer in existence;
Playing with me…
An illusion.
A verisimilitude…
I did not ask it ever….
Nor will I do...
There is faith.
There is something so beautiful.
It is pure. It is innocent. It is sacred.
It keeps me bathed in its light of joy and freedom and purity…
It is like a dream…
And now,
"The Dawn is breaking.
And I know,
‘My star’ shall fade away soon."
The dawn is breaking; a light shining through.
You're barely waken; and I'm entangled up in You...
I'm open. You're close. And I'll follow; You'll go...
I worry I won't see your face... Light up again...
And I worry If I won't hear you laugh and feel your pain...
The dawn is breaking.
And I know.
You 'My star' shall fade away soon...
But even in this new dawn, if I won't see You again;
I shall keep your light within my body, as pure as it is.
And my Faith in You preserved in my soul.
Forever.
The path is tough.
And I'm moving.
