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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

If my journey, deprives me of my Abode, I have no regrets!

" Har ghar kuch kehta hai..."
says an Asian paints advertisement. Very true. Every house will tell you a story of thousand dreams, dreams woven by two bright luminant eyes who wish to find a settlement in this rat racing world. I am going to be a civil engineer in two years, a designer of dreams! It gives me a real good feeling. But every time I think of designing a house, some childhood dreams come back to life.
My dwelling. My home. My small and happy world! Walls of my colours, curtains of the type i love, doors and windows of the kind I want... where I would find peace, solace, tranquil, where there would be love, delight and radiance, where I could slow down and rest in the arms of those I love, where I can embrace, touch, communicate, where I feel blessed. Yes, My home, my abode of dreams. In the words of Lisa Emry–
“Home is the place your heart residesHome is the place that you decideHome is the womb that holds the soulHome is the place where one is whole…”

The next moment begin in my mind a series of questions, like a slide show on a projector-
Do I really want a dwelling, where my travel would cease and I would settle?
Does a permanent dwelling place actually exist?
It never did so far. But the element of ‘mine’ was present in each of the dwelling I took shelter in till date, then how do I say they were not my abode?
My house, where I took birth, I walked and played, I grew up from a sibling to a young lady, was it not my abode?
My school, where I learnt to share, to play, to love, to pray…. Everything, was it not my lodging? I still feel my presence in every wall of its’, in the corridors, the furniture, the playground, everywhere… I reside there, in the playground grass, in the garden mud, in the assembly air.
Did I not belong to the empty streets of my hometown, I loved to stroll on and spend time in reflection? Was not the riverside mine, where I had spent lovely moments with friends, tossing stones in the blue water? The Blue Bridge, The IIT Campus, The Stadium, the road connecting my school to the city, were they not mine?
And today, this university, I study in, The G. B. Pant University of Agriculture & Technology , giving shelter to numerous like me and where I am living these very beautiful years of my youth, how do I deny it is not my abode?
This hostel I reside in today and which has sheltered thousands of those inexplicable moments in the life of a girl of nineteen, which she wants to hide from the rest of the world; is it not my residence?
My room, where I rejoiced, I cried, wove lovely dreams of a splendid future, embellished its walls and ceiling, will I have no right to it after I pass out from The University?
The University auditorium, the college canteen, the parks and farms, the roads I walked on with loved ones, were they not mine?
Surely, they were. I reside in them and they in me. They were my abode, but my permanent abode? Does it exist? Do I want it? And more importantly, do I need it?
I met this person on my way, so much like me and yet so different. I discovered his dreams and fears, listened to his side of the story and I could write an epic on him. I meet thousands like him everyday, waiting for an ear to narrate their unheard tales, tales of heaven and hell, dreams and hopelessness, valor and fear. I can’t go home, the home I dreamt of; and rest in two comforting arms. I got to stop on my way and listen to these unheard legends. They are waiting to become a part of my verses and ballads, my literary world. I can hear them calling out to me as if hailing-
“Hundred more years, you should live!”
I have spent memorable moments with all these people. I can’t go home leaving them unheard. I can give them voice. I can give words to thousand unsaid emotions. This is what matters to me more than anything else. This unending journey is what matters and not that destination I dreamt of in my childhood where the travel would end and all motion cease.

And if my journey deprives me of my abode, I have no regrets

16 comments:

  1. I agree as after moving from my HOME of 19 years, the feeling of homelessness clings to me forever and ever. I now live in houses and not homes.I wish to find one some beautiful day of my life.
    For you --> You have maintained your excellence but their are hidden feelings and meanings I hope you get rid of them asap!! Physical distances may have separated the two of us but our hearts and minds are still connected.I can feel your pain but remember...the sooner you move on the better it will be....
    Love you Jamun

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  2. hmm...
    have nothing to say yaar and i don't need to when its with you.
    on the blog, just that i felt the feeling of homelessness for the first time in my life when i came to pantnagar, but with me it was i knew somewhere i had my home. so, the feeling was different with what you felt when you left Roorkee permanently. so, i came to this new unfamiliar place, Pantnagar who now are an indispensable part of my world. i stand at the middle of a bridge today, connecting the past two years and the two years yet to come. and i fear the same feeelinf of homelessness after two years when i would have to abandon this residence of mine and move again to an unknown place, amidst unfamiliar faces... all overv again...
    thats it, and the journey would go on... i shall not let this travel cease...

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  3. GREAT work....EXCELLENT merging of the feelings n thoughts tat surely strikes every individual's mind sometime in his/her life.

    Way of PRESENTATION and the written EXPRESSION of thoughts is FABULOUS.

    A SUCCESSFUL attempt to present the piece so GRACEFULLY that the reader itself gets completely engrossed into it.

    May god bless u..
    Wish u success in your life DI...

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Hey nice start...well xpressed...could feel what u wrote while i was goin through it...

    keep me udated with ur blogs...

    n dis kiara is shruti

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  6. thanks ma'am...
    shall keep u updated...

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  7. hmmm
    acha likha h,
    din expected this,
    need to give it a thought.

    let me comp the punch line
    har ghar kuch kehta hai
    ki andar isme kon rehta h


    n heres d crux
    its abt d ppl hu live in n nt where they live

    simply drawin a thin line b/w a house n a HOME.!!!!!

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  8. Rightly said... its about the people who live in it and where they live, and that is what i question, that these people i meet on my way and get attached to and whom i love dearly,every place connected to them and the times we spent together gives me that same 'homely' feeling.and i miss that time when we were together. why can't i live with them forever, at some permanent abode of dreams?
    I give the best example, my hostel, is it not my abode? but, i know its not a permanent one... but it says something... coz har ghar kuch kehta hai...
    but, i know i'll have to abandon it one day and move on to some other residence....
    is there a permanent abode...?
    dunno, but now i know , i wanna move on this way.... coz I have learnt to accept that
    its this journ which matters not the destination... its these people I meet who matter and not the concrete houses I'm going to construct years after...

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  9. well kaafi feel se likha hai ji...honestly pura nahi padha but ya ome lines were really touching...im not really good at writing any longer though...but still just a few words that i gotta say to you baby...
    in this world one has no abode...life is a constant journey...there's never a place that brings you to a halt....coz life means to go on...so how can any place be the abode for anyone...
    the only abode you can find is in your inner self i think...rest no matter wat thye place is home, school hostel....they are othing but just another stop over pullover...whre one is to refuel n get going on the journey called life...

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  10. yar...wht u said abt urself in blog...this article actually proves it.u said that u like to observe the things which are going around u..but after reading this article,i can say that u feel the thing around you.well, as much i know you,this article is not beyond of my expectation but still it is awesome.if u remember then once we have kind of discussion on this topic...and with this article,u really rocked.gr8 work yar..keep it up.

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  11. Surely you should've been somwher in stanford! you write fabs!! kudos to u babes! keep it up.

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  12. m not amazed ur stl d same yaar ..........har cheese ko itna minutely observe karti hai ....nd u really pen down each drop ov ur observation ................cool keep d gud wrk goin .miss u a lot.....specially ur dances nd songs .hop to c u soon
    tak cre dear

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  13. The specific things I liked about your blog...

    " Har ghar kuch kehta hai..." I must say, this is creative.
    "designer of dreams" : great metaphor right!
    "rest in the arms of those I love" : feels like home!
    "series of questions, like a slide show on a projector" : touch of the 21st century.

    Overall a blog with a point. Keep it up Gazal, 9/11.

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  14. touched a lot but i wanna tel u one thing a day wil come wen ur words wil take a different meaning ..i mean ya journey is more important than reaching ur destination ..but our actual home is waiting n thats why we are i can say still searching it till we get it..u r words will change soon..n in a positive way

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  15. m tryn 2 interpret what u r sayin..
    naam likhkar ye kehte to zyada achcha lagta..

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  16. Home is where your heart is, isn't it.. this world is your adobe and you are it's resident.

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